We've casually discussed what to say when kids at school or random people ask where we've been for two weeks. We're both private people and I have no interest in discussing my daughter's health with people who don't care about her. The general idea we came up with was for her to say "I've been in Georgia" and leave it at that. If they persist, she can say she went with her mom to visit some friends. All of this, of course, is true but it's not the full story.
Last night Mika was emailing her best friend. We leave for dog camp in two and a half weeks and she was trying to figure out how to explain that. I told her to just tell her friend the truth but Mika refused. I reminded her that this was her best friend and if anyone was going to be supportive, it was her. She just looked at me and teared up. I asked her what was wrong. Tears poured down her face and she said "I just don't want to be judged." I reminded her how supportive people were when the articles came out about her receiving a service dog, but she refused to budge.
It breaks my heart that she's so worried about this, but at the same time I completely understand. I'm careful about what information I share with people, even those in my family. All it takes is one time being doubted or judged to ruin your trust in that person. I've tried to protect my daughter as much as possible from that, but I have no doubt that she has experienced some of that judgement, too. It may have been she overheard conversations not meant for her, but it still compromised her ability to trust. It makes me so sad to know that she's aware of how judgmental people can be and it has hurt her enough that she's afraid to even tell her friends about it.
Maybe as we get further in the process and she gets that strong bond with her dog, things will change. The whole purpose of the dog is to help her and I don't want her afraid to go out in public with the very dog that is there to help her.
This makes me so sad! I wish she could see how happy we are all for her. When I told my kids that M would get a dog to help her, they had a few questions (mostly worried about how ill M is and not questioning why she needed a dog.) When I explained how the dog would help M, they thought that was amazing, and Susie said she would love to have a job training and working with animals to help humans.
ReplyDeleteI am quite sure there are some judgmental idiots out there, but there are also a whole slew of us that are excited for her and eager to hear how much the dog is helping her.
Thanks a bunch Chris. I told Mikaela what you said and she smiled the rest of the night. That really really helped!
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't need to worry about being judged. Yes, there will always be a few dummies out there, but here's the real deal...Getting the dog is going to make her an instant celebrity. People are always intrigued by SDs. They are nosey too, so expect to get asked some very invasive questions. Usually people don't mean to be offensive, but in this day and age where everyone is sharing every detail of their lives on FB, people forget that some things aren't necessarily ok to ask about. People aren't going to look down on Mika, people are going to be interested, fascinated, and even envious of her and her SD.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Mika, 90% of the people in this world are going to be happy for you, and interested in you, they won't be looking down on you!